Losing a baby

You learn you’re pregnant; and all the excitement & expectation that comes with the news is almost overwhelming. For anyone who has been down this road, you know what I’m talking about. The planning, the daydreaming, the lingering looks at others’ babies knowing that your little one is on the way soon.

Change of scene.

2 weeks, 16 weeks or maybe you even went the whole nine yards – but you have nothing to show for it. For some, a D&C has to be carried out to remove ‘the mass of cells’; for others, you have to go through the agonizing pain of labour either to remove a baby who is long gone or one whom the odds are against.

For most of us, you are promptly discharged a day later to go deal with your grief at home. The general assumption is that there is a supportive spouse, and well wishing relatives & friends at your disposal. After talking to a few women who have been through something similar, I now know why most women prefer solitude. There’s a husband who believes that you are solely responsible for the loss of HIS child (note, you are no longer considered the child’s parent as your body failed miserably on what should come naturally to a woman!); In-laws who are busy wondering why he brought for them a good for nothing woman who can’t bear children to carry on their family name; Relatives & friends who want to know what is wrong with you (few actually want to know this out of concern).

But my blog (and my heart) isn’t all about hurt. God has actually thrown a lifeline to me in the form of a hubby who has held me through it all; old friends (and this includes our relatives) and new ones who help me pray & believe; and a very knowledgeable, compassionate doctor.

My prayer is that people learn that ALL life comes from God. Period.